


Rather be

by DreamDrop



Series: The bodyguard and his protégé [3]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Damen is Laurent's bodyguard, Laurent is so done, Laurent loves Damen so much, Laurent tries to handle his feelings, M/M, Nicaise is in his rebellious teenage phase, POV Laurent (Captive Prince), Pre-Relationship, They are so cute, and he can't handle it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25330294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamDrop/pseuds/DreamDrop
Summary: Laurent doesn't know how to NOT love Damen. He has loved him for years and he knows he will love him until the day he dies.
Relationships: Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Series: The bodyguard and his protégé [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834633
Comments: 4
Kudos: 94





	Rather be

**Author's Note:**

> So... I was inspired to write this little part from Laurent's point of view. The "prequel" to I'll be there. I hope you have fun with it.

Laurent knew he was being stupid. He knew it and yet, he couldn't stop himself from pining. Jesus, sometimes he wanted to slap some sense into himself. 

He hoped that Auguste would come back quickly and assure him, once again, that the best course of action was that he kept his distance. 

Now, however, it looked so damn easy. Everything in this particular situation tempted him to just give in to his desire. 

He contemplated to bang his head against the wall but gave up on the thought when he realized that this would only draw attention towards him. Damen's attention. Damen, whose job it was to keep Laurent out of harm's way. 

Fuck. No, he couldn't do that to himself. It might have appeared to be a good idea but it really wasn't. 

The reasons for that were manifold. First, it would hurt like a bitch, second, he would most likely bruise and that would invite people to question Damen's competence and third, Damen would look away from the movie they were watching and Laurent was pretty sure that he couldn't endure to be in the focus of these dark, beautiful eyes.

He suppressed a sigh. He was 23 years old but his crush on Damen didn't vanish yet. No, quite the contrary. Everyone, and with that he meant Auguste, had predicted that his childhood infatuation with Damen and his teenage crush on him would be temporary, that he needn't worry. 

It was absolutely normal that he fell for the one person who was by his side since the death of their parents. The one person who always made him feel secure and happy.

And Laurent had seen the logic behind that argumentation. Which had most likely been the only thing that had kept him from going bat-shit crazy. 

Now the situation looked different. And not in a good, innocuous way. No, now his little puppy love for Damen had changed to a full blown I-want-to-marry-you-for-real-please-let's-just-stay-together-until-the-day-we-die situation. And Laurent couldn't handle such situations.

He rarely got emotional and preferred to work through problems or life in general with cold, calculating logic. Which helped him a lot as one of two successors to multiple, multimillion-dollar companies, but didn't help in this particular case.

It was nothing special to be honest, they sat together on the couch and watched some movie Damen picked. Laurent rarely watched TV alone and wasn't interested in the newest movie or series, so he just let Damen chose. It had been this way for years. It was comfortable.

Up until some years ago, Laurent would have been sprawled all over Damen, snuggling and cuddling together until one of them fell asleep. Most of the time both of them. Watched over by Orlant or Makedon who had the night shift. 

Then came the problem with puberty that most boys experienced when confronted with the crush of their teenage years. 

For some months, Laurent couldn't even look at Damen without feeling seriously embarrassed. He wouldn't dare touch the man because he knew the risk of an untimely erection was too high and so their cuddling came to an end.

It was a pity, because now Laurent had better control over his own body and missed the extended cuddling sessions but couldn't bring himself to take the first step in initializing body contact. 

He missed the times where he could cling to Damen like a little monkey to its mother and didn't have to worry about inappropriate feelings.

He thought back to the time where Damen would help him bathe. More often than not, Damen had to take a shower after he bathed Laurent. Because small Laurent loved water and he loved Damen and what was better than splashing water all over Damen? Correct, nothing.

It was a fond memory, yet, it was still embarrassing. Laurent couldn't confidently say which of the two feelings was more prominent when he thought back. 

Nowadays, he needed half an hour to feel normal again, after seeing Damen wet from the sprinklers that Nicaise had manipulated to go off whenever someone walked over the grass.

It was not easy. Life never was. Especially if Damen was concerned. One of three people Laurent could confidently say he loved.

One of the other two just entered the room. Nicaise, in his rebellious teenage phase, wore skintight designer jeans, a mesh t-shirt and a too big leather jacket. His blue eyes were lined with coal and his brown curls adorned with glinting crystals. 

Laurent kept a straight face and suppressed a sigh. His effort to remain unfazed by the display of his young cousin was a lot more successful than Damen's attempt. The jaw of his bodyguard/caretaker/babysitter hit the floor when Nicaise strutted in the living room and placed himself directly before the TV. 

Laurent's snipped his fingers and the movie stopped.  
He didn't say anything. Just looked at Nicaise and waited. His cousin would tell him what he wanted eventually.

"I want to go out." There it was. Laurent raised an eyebrow. "After what happened last time?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Nicaise crossed his arms before his chest.

"I am not Auguste." Laurent relaxed back against the couch while still keeping his focus on Nicaise.

"I know." The younger man narrowed his eyes. Laurent felt a smirk tug on his lips.

"Good. And you still expect me to pretend I don't remember how you came back last time, drunk off your ass, smashing the very expensive ming vase Auguste got from our Chinese partners and crying about how Richard Hargreeves broke up with you? A man almost twice your age, while you, young man, are still underage? I promised you to keep you in here until either you reached age of legal majority or you proofed to me that you could be trusted."

Nicaise looked guilty for one split second and it almost compensated Laurent for his next words, "I hate you. I fucking hate you, Laurent. You are a cast iron bitch without even one spark of love in this glacier you call heart. I hope the next airplane you take crashes."

Laurent didn't even flinch. He keep his face impassive and his voice steady when he replied, "Very well. My answer still stands, I won't allow you to go because contrary to what you may believe, the fact remains that I love you and that you are my responsibility."

Nicaise was so angry he looked as if he would explode. "You don't even know what emotions are because you don't have any, so don't you dare talk to me about loving me," he shouted and went out of the living room. He stomped up the stairs and slammed the door to his room shut. 

Laurent closed his eyes for a second.  
He allowed himself the small sign of weakness only because he was alone with Damen. 

"He doesn't mean it." Damen's convinced tone and his warm hand on Laurent's shoulder were too much for him. He couldn't hide the pain anymore. 

"You don't know that."

"In fact, I do. I have known you for 15 years, Laurent. I know Nicaise since he started living here. And I know that you love him to the moon and back. Everybody knows it, even Nicaise. Although he might try to deny it from time to time." 

Laurent opened his eyes, just to stare at Damen's face. He was so handsome. His dimples were not as pronounced as when he smiled, but still clearly visible, his nose was straight, his lips were full and his eyes were the most beautiful darkbrown Laurent ever saw.

"Are you sure?"  
"I am, and as you know, I am a pretty good judge of character and the person I see before me is loving, caring and very sweet."

Laurent almost snored. Only Damen, and maybe Auguste, would describe him as sweet, but he would take it. He let his forehead fall against Damen's shoulder. "Thank you."

Damen's big hands on his back were unexpected but very welcome. "Don't ever think you are not capable of love or that you don't deserve to be loved. You deserve all the happiness this world has to offer."

Laurent closed his eyes again. Taking two deep breaths, then he drew back. He couldn't stay in Damen's arms any longer. Maybe it was still better that they didn't cuddle anymore, otherwise there might be the risk of Laurent never wanting to let go. 

"Do you want to finish the movie?" He asked Damen. Trying his hardest to gain his immaculate control back.

"Yes. Do you want a cup tea?"  
"Yes."  
Damen got up and came back with a cup of black tea and a coffee. 

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Damen smiled at him. His dimples on full display and Laurent felt his heart skip a beat. The small wrinkles around his eyes made his smile only more attractive.

Fuck, Laurent was so gone for this man, he almost had a meltdown right there on his own couch after his cousin, who was like a brother for him, accused him of being incapable of human emotions. It was hilarious. 

He needed to get a grip on himself. 

When the movie ended, Laurent stood. "I need to talk to Nicaise."

Damen nodded, stood too and followed him up the stairs to Nicaise's room. "You don't have to come."

"I do. Maybe he throws a book at you." Damen smiled crookedly. 

Laurent huffed, knocked at the door and waited for an answer. None came. "Nicaise. Are you alright?"

Laurent felt the dread rise when there was still no answer. "Nicaise? If you don't answer me now, I will come in."

Three seconds later Laurent opened the door and only saw the open window. He stood in the entrance to the room like a statue. His hand still on the doorknob.  
His eyes scanned the room, one tiny sliver of hope keeping him from immediately running to the next car to go in search of Nicaise. 

Lazar, who guarded the floor, strode towards them.  
"He didn't even take Lazar with him." The words were only whispered, but Damen could hear him just fine. "We will go and look for him."

Laurent nodded. "You are right. Lazar, take Pallas and go to all bars and clubs on the south part of the city. Damen and I will go to the ones in the north district. Also, go to every single club. Nicaise has his ways to overcome an age limit."

"Understood boss." Lazar ran down the stairs.

"We have to find him. Auguste would not get over it if something happened to Nicaise." Laurent knew his brother would never accuse him but it still wouldn't change the fact that it was Laurent's responsibility. That he needed to keep Nicaise safe. 

He had failed once when he didn't realize what Nicaise did whenever he told Laurent he would sleep over by a friend. 

It was stupid to think that trust came before control. Never before had it been true, and still, Laurent had thought that in his relationship with Nicaise it would be different. He didn't want to act like the strict parent he wasn't, he wanted to be a big brother, worth of trust and love and it seemed like he had neither. 

Jesus, was he stupid. And here he got all emotional over such an insignificant thing. He needed to get his head back in the game, he needed to find Nicaise and then he needed to tell Auguste that he couldn't handle Nicaise and that his big brother needed to come back and put things straight, once again. 

Laurent could, at least, take over more work from Auguste now. It was not the exact same situation as in the past. 

He had talent for their job, the only thing he was truly good at, better than Auguste even. He had a knack for numbers, logic and decision-making. He could plan for all eventualities, was never surprised by anything and didn't trust anyone more than he absolutely had to.

Maybe Damen would even accompany him to Arles? 

He checked his phone and saw a message from Ancel, one of Nicaise's friends.  
**Nicaise is with me. We are at 'Royal Pets'. I think you should come and get him.**

"I know where he is."  
Damen let out a relieved breath when Laurent told him. He called Pallas and Lazar that they could come back while Laurent answered Ancel.

He wrote back that he would be there as fast as possible and thanked him. At least one of Nicaise's friends who was not a complete idiot. He just hoped that Ancel was keeping Nicaise in the same place until Laurent could pick him up.

Laurent knew that their driver already went home. Pallas and Lazar were both gone and he was in no state to drive. Damen could always drive him but he needed his bodyguard to take care of Nicaise as soon as they got him out of the club. He didn't trust himself to stay calm.

Therefore, he did what every sane person would do and called an Uber. It only took ten minutes but this were the longest ten minutes of his life.

Before the club, Laurent gritted his teeth. If he could ever look into Auguste's eyes again, he would sincerely apologize for his own incompetence of keeping track of one teenager, but in order for this possibility to exist, he would first need to get Nicaise out of there and that would require him to enter. 

He hated clubs, places with many people in general. He didn't want to go in there. Nevertheless, he would do it. 

Damen stood behind him. As long as he was there, Laurent would be fine. He took a deep breath and then went to talk to the bouncer.


End file.
